Many churches that offer Divorce Recovery Workshops believe that an important later step in healing for individuals is to actually facilitate break-out group discussions for a program they, themselves, have previously attended.
The question is, how soon?
In my experience, the answer is the same as what research has found best in waiting to date: One to three years after entry of your Judgment of Divorce. And, no, it is not appropriate to count periods of separation or prolongued litigation against this as “credit for time served.” There are simply too many things on which the newly-divorced individual must concentrate for self-care. It leaves precious little for those one is responsible for serving in Divorce Recovery Workshop debrief leadership. More bluntly put, it’s a conflict of interests.
Look to 1 Timothy 3:6 for validation of this. “An elder must not be a new believer ….” Divorce Support Groups are no less a calling of high responsibility. Participants are vulnerable. The counsel they follow can have huge impacts on the rest of their lives.
Paul provides further helpful guidance for due diligence upfront in Divorce Recovery Workshop facilitator qualifications.
“He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?” 1 Timothy 3:4-5. Post-judgment is when these things are truly sorted out, visioned, and tested. Candidates can be “closely examined” (1 Timothy 3:10) in matters of following Court Orders, defining new ways of related to their former spouses, and juggling new responsibilities.
Focus on yourself. Take care of yourself. Be patient until God’s timing is at hand.
There will, unfortunately, always be the need for future Divorce Recovery Workshops.
Off-Site Reference
“How soon can you facilitate a divorce recovery workshop or divorce support group?” / August 25, 2009 / Divorce Pastor (accessed August 25, 2024)