Are you hiding behind anger?
In a pamphlet on divorce for Lutheran Hour Ministries, Jean-Marc Daignault validates what I’ve said for some time. Anger, she writes, “can be a creative force. It can stimulate us to confront unpleasant experiences. It can motivate us to action.”
As professionals helping individuals with divorce, we also see the downside that it portends for people, what they can bring down upon themselves by improperly or excessively indulging it.
Anger “can be a way to hide from something we’d rather not face. For example, if a man can blame his ex-wife for the breakup of his marriage, and nurse the anger that accompanies that judgment, he doesn’t have to consider any new evidence or carry the investigation any further. He doesn’t have to take the risk that by examining the facts at hand objectively, he might find he’s partly to blame for the breakup of the marriage. So the anger masks the threat to his self-image.”
Jesus warned against such consequences in Matthew 5:21-22. “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ Bit I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.”
Think about this passage from Scripture juxtaposed against the last two lines of the Daignault quote preceding it.
Quite apart from being “subject to judgment” for acting upon anger itself, one can risk various dangers by failing to account for and potentially correct shortcomings which we might otherwise self-identify.
Off-Site References
“Lutheran Hour Ministries: ‘Divorce,’ Part 2 (on Anger)” / September 1, 2009 / Divorce Pastor (accessed September 8, 2024)