With less than half-a-day to go before 2004 expires, it seems that some people are becoming desperate to check boxes off their to-do lists. I’m sorry about that. Just this week, “Brenda” came in for her scheduled appointment with me on a post-divorce mediation. Her Judgment of Divorce was officially entered mid-February 2001 — although this merely capped off a process that had by then been in divorce court for almost two years. She met with a therapist every week during that time. In the end, the judge signed her divorce form and Brenda concluded her counseling a month or… Continue Reading…
November 27, 2004
Thanksgiving morning: A little more winter than fall, as this heavy-hearted dream was described to me. “Margaret” was walking to the front door of her in-laws’ house. Did I say in-laws? Former in-laws. She stopped to wipe the frost away from a window to look in. The dining room was familiar — warmly lit, table inviting. Yet there sat “the other woman,” in the chair Margaret had exclusively graced for 29 years. Margaret’s fingers felt cold. Today, three years later, she is about to complete her degree. She’s scoring 95% on her exams, and wrote this to me last Friday…. Continue Reading…
November 3, 2004
Halloween may be over, but prenuptial agreements never seem to go out of style when it comes to sending re-marriage chills down the spine. Three years ago this topic was hotly debated in a support group I was leading. We had some 16 participants that evening when a man at the end of a long table took one point of view, and a woman at the furthest other end took the extreme opposite position. They argued passionately for the better part of two solid hours — and no one ever found peace. Come to think of it, I can’t say… Continue Reading…
October 28, 2004
It used to be that Las Vegas held the name brand in quick divorce. Sure, “love takes time,” but isn’t there some dot-com where people can double-click to delete it? Here in Michigan there is a minimum 60-day waiting period before a divorce can be granted. Perhaps euphemistically, this is commonly referred to as a “cooling off period.” Translation: “Time allotted to consider reconciliation.” [1] But is that all—? You don’t need to sell me on the rightness of your decision to divorce. I hear you when you say that your heart and mind have been moving unretreatingly down this… Continue Reading…