Are you hiding behind anger? In a pamphlet on divorce for Lutheran Hour Ministries, Jean-Marc Daignault validates what I’ve said for some time. Anger, she writes, “can be a creative force. It can stimulate us to confront unpleasant experiences. It… Continue Reading…

“Divorce: Practical ways to cope with the anger, loneliness, guilt, fear of divorce,” is a 1993 publication of Int’l Lutheran Layman’s League, “Lutheran Hour Ministries.” Picking up on what I last wrote in this Blog, let’s take a look at… Continue Reading…

An interesting discussion came up in my presentation for the First Presbyterian Divorce Recovery Workshop last night. [1] “Getting Your Ex in Focus” is what their leadership had titled it when I first started with them in 2003. My goal… Continue Reading…

Imagine the spiraling vortex of water as it drains from a filled bathtub. It’s an illustration I’ve hand-drawn simply with markers on whiteboards for countless counseling and divorce support group sessions. The analogy works like this. At some baseline point… Continue Reading…

Many churches that offer Divorce Recovery Workshops believe that an important later step in healing for individuals is to actually facilitate break-out group discussions for a program they, themselves, have previously attended. The question is, how soon? In my experience,… Continue Reading…

Marital reconsiliation advocacy often cites Malachi 2:15 as a command. “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and… Continue Reading…

Depression afflicts 9.5% of the U.S. population. [1] Now if you have a Judgment of Divorce entered this time of year, many friends will instinctually look out for signs of depression. But I’m going to ask that we open our… Continue Reading…

Thanksgiving morning: A little more winter than fall, as this heavy-hearted dream was described to me. “Margaret” was walking to the front door of her in-laws’ house. Did I say in-laws? Former in-laws. She stopped to wipe the frost away… Continue Reading…

“Harsh startups” — I avoid ’em as best I can, thanks to research from John Gottman. [1] That’s why the first session in my current Divorce Recovery Workshop started out with administrative and housekeeping items, just like all those before… Continue Reading…

With apologies to James Bond, I figured this bit of headline word play might make it easier to identify the current issue of BestLife you’ll be looking for — with Pierce Bosnan on the cover. [1-2] “Time of Your Life”… Continue Reading…