Hand’s down, this is the tactic I’ve seen work most effectively in delivering on goals desired as divorce outcomes. At the same time, there’s an important reason why it is under-utilized and otherwise easily exposed by way of sloppy implementation. By definition, “goal setting” requires strategic thinking, prioritization, and discipline. All are rareties in the emotional milieu that instructs most divorce negotiations. The “red herring” approach requires identification of an issue that the other side will plausibly see as important to you, is a higher priority for them, and which, at the same time, you are ready to wholely or… Continue Reading…
December 24, 2004
My uncle is probably getting ready to start his Christmas shopping right about now. From what he’s told me, it’s neither an avoidance nor a bargain-maximization thing. It’s an immersion process for him that feeds his Christmas Spirit. Divorced families will be adding miles to minivan odometers right alongside my dad’s brother, of course. I see from the Michigan Parenting Time Guideline, that nine o’clock tonight is recommended for these big holiday time parenting switches. [1] With a statewide Friend of the Court caseload of 697,506 custody matters, that’s reason enough for me to walk Mrs. Poyndexter’s Samoyed this evening…. Continue Reading…
November 3, 2004
Halloween may be over, but prenuptial agreements never seem to go out of style when it comes to sending re-marriage chills down the spine. Three years ago this topic was hotly debated in a support group I was leading. We had some 16 participants that evening when a man at the end of a long table took one point of view, and a woman at the furthest other end took the extreme opposite position. They argued passionately for the better part of two solid hours — and no one ever found peace. Come to think of it, I can’t say… Continue Reading…