In the area where I practice, divorce mediators may refer to this as your “Last, Best Offer.” [1]
One of the ways in which this is manifest is by opposing counsel: “If you want us to meet for a possible divorce settlement, you’d better come with your last, best offer.”
Okay, so what are your options once you get there if these are the terms? They are inviting you to say, “Take it or leave it.” In other words, if you come in with your “last, best offer,” and at any point give concessions after discussion, then your position is absolutely undermined. After all, you came in having stipulated to their requirement that the offer you were bringing was as far as you’d go, and that divorce negotiations would not, could not — must not! — continue beyond that.
If you change your position now, you’re either a fool or a liar. Neither is a good place to be. So the answer to any demand that you come to the table with a last, best offer is either “no.” You go in prepared and self-disciplined to walk away if they don’t accept what you thoughtfully present to them — in the best of good faith, of course.
Remember: It was their idea to approach divorce discussions this way.
On the other hand, if they come in with bravado about the offer they are about to make being their last and best, take it or leave it! then consider it in just that way. No need for discussion. If it’s not good enough for your needs, walk away.
To do anything else puts you in the position of negotiating (and more likely, arguing) as either a fool or a liar.
Off-Site References
“Game-playing in divorce negotiation: ‘Take It or Leave It’” / August 31, 2019 / Michigan Divorce Negotiation (accessed September 9, 2024)
- “Understanding the ‘Best and Final Offer’ in Negotiation” / May 11, 2024 / Karrass (accessed September 9, 2024)