This tactic plays on two fronts uniquely available to the other side in divorce negotiations.
- Many individuals in the process of divorce are insecure: About their decision-making, the reasonableness of the needs they perceive themselves to have, and their ability to self-advocate outside of marital partnership. [1]
- Folks going through divorce have a high need for external validation — frequently accompanied by a low threshold for differentiating among those from whom they perceive themselves to be judged. [2]
Thus, when your spouse or your spouse’s attorney “reacts with an exaggerated facial expression to get you to question the reasonableness of your offer,” they are more likely doing this based on a strategic foreknowledge that you’re vulnerable to this influence.
It’s irrelevant; work on building up your confidence to ignore it.
Remember, divorce is a process by which a marital partner is necessarily transformed into a relationship of cordial indifference (at best). And the person sitting next to them is paid by them to advocate on their behalf any interest which competes with yours.
Off-Site References
“Game-playing in divorce negotiation: ‘The Wince’” / September 4, 2019 / Michigan Divorce Negotiation (accessed April 23, 2025)
- “Dear Negotiation Coach: Making a Deal When You have Anxiety” / April 17, 2025 / Harvard Law School, Program on Negotiation
- “How to Portray Confidence in Negotiation So You Don’t Look Desperate” / November 6, 2023