One of the ways I effectively use to challenge entrenched thinking about divorce is through engaging in not-readily-apparent discussion of similar paths.
“A Taste of Armageddon” is frequently applicable to divorce process. It’s a story from the original Star Trek series where the Enterprise crew finds itself caught in the middle of a war between two neighboring planets. That war has been going on for five hundred years. [1-2]
Curiously, however, there are no outward signs of this. No buildings destroyed. No casualties on the streets. No residual radiation to leave areas uninhabitable.
Those “problems” were “solved” five centuries earlier. In fact, curiously, by agreement between the two planets themselves, way-back-when: They set up computer interfaces to fight the war with software. Only it wasn’t a simulation. People in areas designated to have been hit by an attack were sanitarily disposed of in death chambers they voluntarily entered, as society had taught them to do.
The conclusion here was that without the reality of the true fears and messiness of war, there was no reason for war to end.
Well, this being Star Trek, Captain Kirk takes it upon himself to destroy the computer on one of the planets. Communication thus breaks down. By default, real war, with real bombs, and real destruction, and real death, are about to follow.
Not surprisingly, in the face of real consequences, negotiation and a peaceful resolution to the conflict is apparently most desirable.
I’m certainly not suggesting that we create any more hardship for families than are inherent in divorce already.
What I am saying is that we as professionals owe it to our clients to define the givens of divorce, to help them understand that this path (like any other) has inherent consequences.
Off-Site References
“How would a divorce go without consequences?” / August 8, 2009 / Michigan Divorce Negotiation (accessed August 8, 2024)
- “Star Trek: The Original Series: The Complete Series” (via Amazon, accessed August 10, 2024)
- “A Look at A Taste of Armageddon (Star Trek)” / November 20, 2021 / SFDebris Red (via YouTube, accessed August 8, 2024)