This can be tough to discern when it’s being used as a coercive tactic, because divorce has some very real deadlines as well. [1-3] If you’re trying to negotiate a divorce settlement in anticipation of making an initial Filing that… Continue Reading…

In the area where I practice, divorce mediators may refer to this as your “Last, Best Offer.” [1] One of the ways in which this is manifest is by opposing counsel: “If you want us to meet for a possible… Continue Reading…

This is a tactic very commonly used to gain advantage in divorce negotiations. In my practice, we call it “Man Out of the Room Syndrome.” [1] Or, as Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People labels it, “Higher Authority.” [2] The game… Continue Reading…

Yes, Virginia— wolves in sheeps’ clothing can be found even in divorce mediations. [1-2] Authors Ronald M. Shapiro and Mark A. Jankowski (with James Dale) expose the “strategically difficult” type of negotiator in their book titled, Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible… Continue Reading…

This one is often a shocker for people. But, as you can imagine, it’s a good thing for a divorce counselor, and especially a divorce mediator, to know. Things heat up. How long do you allow for them to cool… Continue Reading…

In the early 1980s, most of my consulting work was as what’s commonly called an “executive coach,” and in organizational design. The latter fundmantally means studying interactions between two or more individuals and developing means by which they can best… Continue Reading…

Every so often, someone suggests to me that “the Christian approach to divorce” is inherently negotiation from a position of weakness. They cite Luke 6:29-30 in particular. “If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also…. Continue Reading…

Among other things, marriage is a legal contract. Supporting documentation of this is kept by the government. The validity of a marriage in our society is defined by the government. And the government has a necessary and proper role in… Continue Reading…

With a spread titled, “Let’$ Make a Deal,” the latest Psychology Today asks: “Does a prenuptial agreement sow the seeds of divorce or provide a crash course in conflict resolution?” [1] Nice postscript to my November 3 blog. It’s a… Continue Reading…

Halloween may be over, but prenuptial agreements never seem to go out of style when it comes to sending re-marriage chills down the spine. Three years ago this topic was hotly debated in a support group I was leading. We… Continue Reading…